Unfinished Business

It’s not the things I’ve gone and done I’ll regret or be ashamed,
But the things I did not say or do, because I was afraid.
Carrie Newcomer, folk singer



Unfinished business is anything in a relationship that is not resolved. It can be as simple as hearing that a friend is interested in a hobby that interests us and resolving to talk with them about it when the opportunity occurs. Or it can be as complex the apology that you intended to make that never happened and now is no longer possible for some reason.

I do not remember how I was first introduced to the concept of “unfinished business.” I am grateful for the insight into relationships that the concept has provided through the years. Most of us have quite a lot of unfinished business in our lives. In fact, it is really a normal part of life because we are limited in the amount of time available to us. The only way to avoid it is not to care about anything. I am not willing to pay that price.

Unfinished business becomes a problem when we deny it or fear it or allow it to stress us. The resulting regrets or guilt can leave us stuck and unable to move on. Much unfinished business could be resolved if we gave ourselves permission to say to others, “I have some unfinished business with you.” And then share the common interests or concerns. Our lives would be richer. We’d know more about one another. And celebrate our common interests.

It is more difficult to resolve unfinished business, when the other person is no longer available for us to talk it through with them. There are many reasons why the other may not be available, such unfinished business can be resolved, if we are open to releasing it. Some people are blessed to be able to release this type of unfinished business through prayer and meditation.

Most of us need a trusted friend who can help us talk it through until we find closure.

What unfinished business in your life holds you back from being the person God calls you to be? Are you talking to the people who can help you complete it? Are you praying for God’s guidance in finding closure?